Morning Musings

 I'm sitting here in my sunroom, enjoying my coffee and watching as the day comes to life.  The sky lightens and the birds wake and begin to sing.  Some are flittering back and forth between the trees and the birdfeeder we put in the yard.  The squirrels slowly wake and wander into the yard.  First there was one and little by little others have joined him/her.  Now they are chasing and playing with each other.  I glance over to our small garden area and see how badly it's overgrown. We went to Europe this summer for three weeks so we didn't plant anything in the garden.  The weeds have taken over.  I need to work on that this week.  The birdbath back by the trees has stood empty and dirty all summer.  I haven't taken care of it for the birds or the squirrels, again something I need to do this week.  In the Spring there are daffodils along the back fence and they are so crowded.  Every summer I promise myself I'll take care of that in the fall, well again that's something that needs to be done and I'll try to get after it this week.  I'll add the bulbs for the Naked Ladies as well.  I'll move some of the bulbs to different areas of the yard.  I want to set aside some of the daffodils so that next time I go to Mitch and Val's I can plant them by Val's prayer pavilion.  

We lost Val a few weeks ago from cancer.  She's been fighting for a few years now and it finally became too much.  I'm so sad when I think of her because she was always there for anyone that needed her and yet none of us could do anything to save her.  Such an amazing person.  So full of life, faith and happiness.  I'm going to miss her.  

I lost a long time friend, Joan, about a week before Val.  She too was another that was good.  She saw only the best in people.  She was always laughing and always there for you.  I went to Hartman to tell her goodbye.  I just don't feel we should be old enough to be "old" yet.  

We lost David, a very good friend that has been a part of our lives since the mid 80s.  He and Gary were the best of friends.  Covid decided he was one of the chosen ones.  Do you ever question how God decides who to take?  Those thoughts cross my mind.  

I think I avoid sitting in this room early in the morning where I only have my reflections to concentrate on.  We have lost so many people the last few years and it makes you realize that we all have an expiration date.  Mine is getting closer and that's just scary.  I still have so much that I want to do and see.  Gary and I have not had near enough time together.  

We put a shed that looks like a barn in the backyard about a year ago.  We now have a rabbit living under it.  He/She comes out early mornings and late evenings to eat grass and lay out in the fresh air.  I tried to feed it some carrots but it refused to eat any of them so we threw them over the fence into the wooded area behind the house so that other little woodland animals might enjoy them.  

We are seeing different birds than we've seen in the past at our birdfeeder.  Right now there's a "couple" sitting there eating ... they look like a faded out cardinal family.  I'll have to look them up later.  We are also getting little finches and some wild canaries.  They all sing so beautifully.  

Watching the morning come alive always fills me with something that makes me feel alive, like I can breathe deeper than I was.  It feels me with emotion that sometimes brings tears to my eyes.  I realize that no matter how dark and how hopeless something seems there is always a brighter, happier time to come.  Mornings are a new start, a new day.   You go to bed sometimes so broken, feeling like the world is so heavy on your shoulders especially the last few years.  You see so much ugliness around you from people you always thought were nice and gentle.  This war between two parties, something that should have stayed in the "house' or senate has invaded your life, your friendships.  Some of these people I just can't look at the same anymore.  I grew up in the 60s and 70s.  I saw rebellion at it's best.  I saw protests fighting against war, against Viet Nam.  I participated in sit-ins and sit-outs.  Yet, having lived through all of that I never felt hate like I have the last few years.  Where did it come from?  

Morning is here and bustling with energy so it's time for me to get my day started.  Another cup of coffee while I make breakfast and decide what my day will be. 

Until next time, be safe, be healthy and be happy!  

Finishing Up the Colonial, Getting on with Life.

 I think with most of us the Pandemic has effected us in so many ways.  For me, it was a reality of getting older that my life actually has an expiration date and I'm not invincible.   I looked around this house we bought 14 years ago so that I could "get my hands dirty" and renovate it myself and decided that I needed to get it finished and I needed help with it.  So area by area I will be having contractors in to get things finished up.  We have a traditional colonial house with the fireplace at the back left corner instead of the side.  There's a sun room attached to the back with a little outside patio and we have about 2400 square feet.  Four bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. 

That all sounds doable until you actually move in.  We started in our bedroom, the downstairs master.  Here was the problem:  One downstairs bathroom, a full bath that opened to the hallway (for guests) and to the master bedroom and was considered the master bedroom.  I never felt this house had a true master and it wasn't something I was paying attention to when I was looking to buy the day we bought it.  Since that bath was a public bathroom and not a private bath as most masters were, it wasn't a true master.  Well this last year we remedied that.  We cut that bathroom in half and the first half, the sink and toilet became the powder room and opened to the hallway.  The doorway that opened to the master was removed and sealed up.  The tub and shower combo was removed and the floorspace for it was added to the walk-in closet (5 x 5)  of the downstairs bedroom to add a private bath (8.5 x 5) to that bedroom making it a true master suite.  We turned it into a walk-in shower with a bench and two showerheads, a small vanity and a toilet.  It's such a sweet little bathroom and for the first time it's all ours.  We love it.  But then we had to hire someone to come in a build us a closet so we built a walk-in closet (9 x 5) for ourselves.  They built the shell but we're having to build the inside of it.  This has been an interesting venture for both of us.  Gary is definitely a "throw it up and there and get it done" kind of guy with handy work and I'm a "let's plan it out and get every last inch of space we can" kind of girl.  I want it precise and he just wants it done.  Eventually we'll get this done.  Our doors for the closet are on back order as they came in at Lowes once and were all torn up and we refused them.  This next month this whole bathroom/closet project will be one year out.  I think that's long enough.  

Now, we have the electrician working on adding light fixtures for different areas of the house.  Our living room just never seems to be light enough.  He added 5 can lights to the window area yesterday and I have a beautiful light fixture for the dining area that will be added next.  Hopefully we'll be all lit up soon.  We also are having lights added to the closet in our bedroom.  We had several outlets redone and a few switches put in.  Nothing like updating some electricity.  

We are going to have carpet put in our bed room and hardwood floors in the living room/ dining room.  This should happen within the next few months.  

The bathroom upstairs will be updated hopefully before winter.  that should complete the upstairs.  I'm not willing to hand over the reins to a contractor again so I'll contract the work out myself and order the supplies.  I wasn't happy with some of  the choices of the other contractor.  

Thankfulness

This time of year always has me going down memory lane.  This was my mom's favorite holiday.  Thanksgiving.  A time for family.  A time for forgiveness.  A time for thankfulness.  I always catch myself mulling this over throughout the month of November. 

Forgiveness.  Wow, that is a hard one, even though when we forgive we are actually doing so more for ourselves than for the one we forgive, we like to hang on to our anger, our hurt feelings, the placing fault, the excuses.  All of those many, many reasons why you should not forgive.  To be honest, I forgive fairly easy but that doesn't mean I haven't learned, I haven't walked away, I haven't closed that door.  Sometimes you just have to close that door and put a lock on it.  Sometimes that's the best thing you can do for your own sanity.  It's not because you hate that person or that you haven't forgiven them but you have learned that your relationship with them is toxic to you and you need to put distance between you. 

Thankfulness.  I am thankful for so many people that have touched my life as well as so many opportunities that have come across my path.  The last 6 months I have been dealing with some eye issues.  I found out I had cataracts.  So in the last few months I've had two surgeries to take care of that.  I'm thankful for modern medicine that can give us back our sight. It's terrifying to think of losing that sight and not being blessed with the beauty this world has to offer us.  I look through the world through a camera lens a lot and it's been a real struggle this year and I had no idea why.  I'm looking so forward to the next year and being able to use my new eyes to see with.  I'm thankful for my family, my husband who has been my best friend for over 43 years, my two wonderful children who have become the most amazing adults and my most awesome grandson, my extended family, cousins by the plenty that I love with all my heart and nieces, old and new.  A brother I would lay down and die for.  He holds such a huge part of my heart.  I'm thankful for such wonderful neighbors and our neighborhood.  I'm thankful that Gary has always been able to support us well, we've always had a good home, food on the table and bills paid, we've always been comfortable.  I'm thankful we live in a country where we're free to voice our opinion about the government, even when we disagree with those in office and know we can live through it.  I'm thankful that we can worship how we choose or do not choose.  I'm thankful that as a woman I have the freedom to be as independent as I choose to be, as outspoken as I choose to be without worry of punishment or imprisonment.  There are so many things to be thankful for, so many.  Make your own list.  Dig deep and get thoughtful. 

November is a time for thoughtfulness.  I time for clean-up whether it's the leaves in your yard or the mess in your life or mind.  It's a time to refresh and begin anew.  Let's all start thankful.