This morning I sit in my sun room and reflect on the last few months. I've seen so many posts on Facebook of friends with cancer, heart problems or other health issues. If not them, then their families. I've sent up prayers, sometimes not knowing the words I wanted or needed to send but knowing that God would know what was needed. I remember my grandmother praying. I always felt she had a hotline straight to God. If Grandma said a prayer, you know He heard her. For several years now I haven't felt that security of my own prayers. Today I realized that it wasn't God that wasn't listening ... that communication block was coming from me. I see Him all around me, the blessings He has given me...the way he has touched my life. Some people reach out to others when they are in pain ... I pull into myself. It's always been that way. Growing up, God was always a huge part of my life. I read my bible from cover to cover. I loved the stories I found in there. I took comfort from so many of the verses. I'm not even sure when I quit reading my bible, but I did. Something that gave me such pleasure, set aside and forgotten. I know I am sickened by people who sling bible verses to do evil, to shame others, to judge when they themselves are so weak and narrow minded. I quit going to church because the lessons I was hearing from the pulpit were not always what I was reading in the bible. I understand that we're all human, that we all make mistakes but shouldn't we try harder when we are leading to lead as Jesus did? Isn't that what Christians are suppose to do? Shouldn't we be honest and not speak behind people's back but lend a helping hand instead? I started praying again today and I know that God hears me because my heart breaks and my tears flow. I pray that we can quit judging and trying to put everyone that doesn't agree with us down and instead be like Jesus and reach out and help and lift them up.
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